MOUNT VERNON — May is National Foster Care Awareness Month. KidsPeace, a national children’s crisis charity based in Pennsylvania, notes that more than 600,000 children in the United States need foster homes and families.
Unfortunately, there aren’t enough to go around.
“The shortage of foster homes across the nation leaves more and more children deprived of the tender loving care that every child needs and deserves,” said Dr. Lorrie Henderson, acting president of KidsPeace. “If more Americans get involved we can all make sure that every child who needs a second chance at happiness can get one.”
Foster care is a form of government custody for children who have been neglected or abused and have been removed from their families. They are placed with foster parents who, ideally, will provide a sanctuary where the children can heal from the emotional damage wreaked by neglect and abuse. For some of these children, fostering may provide their very first experience of home, family and safety.
Kim Smith, social services supervisor at Knox County’s Children Services, and Connie LaRue, Foster/Adopt Worker, work with foster and adoptive families and children. Their policy is to first try to place children in “kinship homes” with relatives or with family friends, if appropriate, but when that isn’t possible, foster care is the only choice.
“There is always a need for more foster homes,” said LaRue, who added that there are just seven such homes in Knox County.
What makes an ideal foster parent?
“They have to be very accepting of the different lifestyles the children come from,” said Smith. “They have to have adaptability to different behaviors and beliefs. I think some people get into it not realizing that there are all kinds of families out there.”
Foster parents are required to hold a license, which is earned with a background check, fingerprinting, a local and statewide children services system check, a fire inspection of the home, completion of a financial form, home visits and safety checks, and medical examinations for each person in the home. Currently, 24 hours of class time are required; next year 36 hours will be required. If foster parents later decide to adopt, an additional nine hours are required. Foster parents also must be recertified every two years.
“The training covers how child abuse and neglect affect development,” said Smith, “discipline, because no spanking or corporal punishment is allowed; race and culture; the legal system; policies and procedures; attachment and separation issues; and working with biological families. And there’s ongoing training once a month, for a total of 20 hours a year.”
“The case managers make monthly visits, or more frequently,” said LaRue. “And we check in by phone.”
Payment is $21 per day for each child under 12, and $26 per day for children 12 and older. Asked about the possibility of parents fostering children for the additional income, Smith and LaRue shook their heads.
“That’s a misconception. There’s so much you have to do to become a foster parent,” said Smith, “and it’s really a job. You would have to go through so much for a small amount. Most of them work outside the home too.”
Occasionally, foster parenting just doesn’t work out.
“People have expectations that they can save a child with just love,” said LaRue, “when they come into their home. But these kids are being taken from their parents, whom they love even if they’re abusive or neglectful. It takes a lot to build that [fostering] relationship. There are going to be a lot of setbacks and working through it with the child’s therapist or counselor, a lot of dealing with the transition.”
“It really takes a special person to do it,” added Smith. “There are wonderful rewards but there are times when you go through some tough times, too. Sometimes you have to wait a long time to have a great experience, but the foster parents who have wouldn’t take it back.”
Mary and Mike Adams of Fredericktown are among those who find foster parenting rewarding. They care for a 10-year-old boy, who they will adopt on May 29.
“I actually have been involved in foster parenting my whole life,” said Mary, who grew up in Illinois. “My mom and dad got involved when I was 4 and continued until I was 20. They had more than 30 foster children. So I was always very interested in foster care and wanted to become a foster parent someday.
“After we got married, we had lots of life changes. We had to rearrange our plans. So we started fostering.”
Thanks to her early experience, the Adamses were prepared for the hard work.
“Foster care is very frustrating in a lot of ways,” said Mary. “You’re always waiting on other people to make decisions, waiting on paperwork. You have to get permission to get their hair cut or give them a Tylenol. There are lots of extra steps to take, but it is totally worth it and I’d like to do it again.”
