MOUNT VERNON — Parents have a major impact on their children’s success in school, and the parental attitude toward learning and its importance has a lasting effect on the students. It could be said that parents of students with special needs have an even more vital role to play in their child’s education, and may have to be even more active in supporting their child.
Getting to know the child’s teachers and learning their expectations for the child is a crucial aspect of the educational process.
“I think it’s very important that parents take the time to meet their child’s teacher, whether it’s an informal stopping by the classroom or a formal meeting,” said Carol Laufersweiler, parent mentor with the Knox County Educational Service Center. “The parents should make sure they go to the open houses, conferences and that type of thing, just to start building that relationship on a positive note. If something does come up that’s an issue or concern, they’ve already started that relationship in a positive way.”
Keeping the lines of communication open is a critical ongoing piece of the parental role in the students’ success.
“Know what’s going on in your child’s classroom,” said Laufersweiler. “Keep track of that through different means, like homework hotline and through e-mailing with the teacher. Parents should find out what the teachers’ expectations are and then find out a way to keep abreast of that.”
Communication may be a little more difficult as the child goes to middle school or high school, and parents may have to put more effort into keeping those communication lines open. Laufersweiler said it is different in middle school and high school because the child is older, and also because typically there are multiple teachers.
“That’s why you often see a different form of communication,” she said. “Again, the best thing is for parents to meet their child’s teachers at the beginning of the school year and find out what’s the best way to communicate with them. Because those teachers have multiple classes and students, the parent will want to find a way that’s going to work for the teachers, too.”
Connie Hatley, special education consultant with the ESC, also said it is important for parents to keep communication lines open, not only with the teachers but with therapists and community agencies such as the Department of Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities, as well as all of the other resources parents have available to them. The communication should be a two-way street, because it is important for the parents to let the teachers, therapists and agencies know what their expectations are.
“‘Keep communication open’ is the biggest thing I would suggest for parents to help their child,” Hatley said. “If we don’t know what they want, or what they are asking for, sometimes it gets confusing. Sometimes the parents are just bombarded with different agencies and knowing who’s who ... If they get confused, the parents should make sure that they ask somebody.”
A potentially confusing aspect for parents is the array of paperwork over and above the typical school forms and documents.
“It’s vital for parents to understand, or at least be familiar with, the rules, rights and regulations of special education,” Laufersweiler said. “As with anything, you don’t sign any sort of documentation unless you know what you’re signing. That goes the same way when you’re signing that legal documentation for your child’s educational needs. Understand and know what you’re signing. It’s very important that you know what your rights under the laws are, according to special education law.”
Because it can be overwhelming, there are parent mentors like Laufersweiler, as well special education coordinators, in all of the school districts to help the parents understand the process.
As with any child, the development of appropriate social skills is an integral part of a special needs child’s growth and progress. Parents should focus on manners and teach their child to share, to wait his or her turn, and to ask for what he or she may need. Children also need to know how to ask teachers for help in school, if needed.
“Social skills are absolutely important,” said Hatley.
Referring particularly to younger children, she said, “getting them out to the playgrounds or in social groups, anything the parents can do to reinforce those kinds of things, would be absolutely wonderful.”
Laufersweiler agreed.
“I think the social aspect is very crucial from the time the children start interacting with their peers, as early as preschool,” she said. “You want your children to be accepted by their peers. You also want your child to gravitate toward peers who are going to make good choices and come from families that have values and morals that you hopefully instill in your own home. It just gets more and more important as the child progresses in age.
“Socialization does help with behaviors because if you know how to interact with others, and know how to make choices in a good way, then you’re going to have fewer opportunities to have poor behaviors.”
Both Hatley and Laufersweiler said another way parents can help their children succeed in school is to make sure they have proper nutrition and a good night’s sleep so they start each day off rested and having eaten breakfast.
As for homework, it is necessary to have a consistent home study time and structured routine. There should be a designated area in a quiet environment, but one that is accessible so the children can ask for help or the parent can check on them periodically as they go through their homework.
“The key with homework is not to do it for them, but to be there to help,” Laufersweiler said. “Try to foster that independence with your child. Try not to multitask too much during homework time because then what happens is, you’re not focusing completely on what your child’s need or question may be at the time. On the other hand, don’t be right there touching shoulders with your child.”
Then, of course, the parent should praise the child’s efforts and a job well done.
“Catch them being good,” said Laufersweiler. “We want to acknowledge that good behavior. That is so important because it enhances and builds upon that child’s self-esteem and confidence.”
